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Recently I had a birthday and I came to the sudden
realization that I'm getting old. The follow is so
very true.

I suppose you've all heard at least a few of the "how do
you know you are getting older?" quips. But this morning,
I am happy to report that someone has finally compiled
the ultimate, TOP 10 list of reasons. So here goes.

You know you are getting older when:

Number 10: Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

Number 9: The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

Number 8: Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.

Number 7: You get winded playing chess.

Number 6: You begin turning out lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.

Number 5: Your back goes out more than you do.

Number 4: A fortune teller offers to read your face.

Number 3: The little gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.

Number 2: You sink your teeth in a steak, and they stay there.  

And finally, the number 1 reason you know you are getting older:
You decide to procrastinate, but never get around to it!
Too slow! Always "a day late and a dollar short." Does that
describe anyone you know -- late for work, late for Church, late
for appointments? For example, there was a certain funeral
director who had just laid to rest the husband of an old friend.
After the graveside service, the widow was the only mourner to
get into the big funeral limousine. She had no children, and no
other relatives. During the drive home, the funeral director
spoke in earnest tones to the widow. "Mary," he said, "I want
to tell you something, but please don't be offended. I've been
secretly in love with you all these years. That's why I never
married. Because of John, I never said anything about it. But
now he's gone. All my life I've been a procrastinator. All my
life I've been too slow about everything. But this time I'm not
going to wait. So, Mary, if you should ever think of marrying
again, just remember I asked you first." To which Mary replied,
"Tom, I appreciate that very much, but John's doctor has
already asked me."  

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