Christian Reflection and Prayer

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins!
Thank God for church  ladies with typewriters...
These sentences actually appeared in church
bulletins or were announced in church  services:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the
Water.' The sermon  tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a
chance to get rid of  those things not worth
keeping around the house. Bring your  husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick
of our community. Smile at  someone who is
hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't
care  much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this
way again,' giving  obvious pleasure to the
congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't
know it, we have a  nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the  help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married
on October 24 in the  church. So ends a
friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday
evening in the church hall.  Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon
topic will be 'What Is  Hell?' Come early
and listen to our choir practice

Eight new choir robes are currently needed
due to the addition of  several new members
and to the deterioration of some older  ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles
and other items to be  recycled. Proceeds
will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope
along with the deceased  person you want
remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining,
super entertainment  and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer
and medication to  follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing
of every kind. They  may be seen in the
basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn
singing in the park across  from the Church.
Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday
morning at 10 AM. All ladies  are invited to
lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S.
Is  done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies
of the Congregation  would lend him their
electric girdles for the pancake breakfast
next  Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet
Thursday at 7 PM. Please use  the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting
Shakespeare's Hamlet in the  Church
basement Friday at 7 PM.. The
congregation is invited to  attend this
tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the
First Presbyterian Church.  Please use
large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the
church's new campaign slogan last 
Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.