03/17/2010
AS I HAVE AGED
I would never trade my amazing friends,
my wonderful life, my loving family for
less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've
aged, I've become kinder to myself, and
less critical of myself. I've become my
own friend.. I don't chide myself for eating
that extra cookie, or for not making my
bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko
that I didn't need, but looks so avante
garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat,
to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave
this world too soon; before they understood
the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read
or play on the computer until 4 AM and
sleep until noon? I will dance with myself
to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's,
and if I, at the same time, wish to weep
over a lost love ... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that
is stretched over a bulging body, and will
dive into the waves with abandon if I
choose to, despite the pitying glances
from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But
there again, some of life is just as well
forgotten. And I eventually remember
the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been
broken. How can your heart not break
when you lose a loved one, or when a child
suffers, or even when somebody's beloved
pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts
are what give us strength and understanding
and compassion. A heart never broken is
pristine and sterile and will never know the
joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough
to have my hair turning gray, and to have
my youthful laughs be forever etched into
deep grooves on my face.
So many have never laughed, and so many
have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive.
You care less about what other people think.
I don't question myself anymore..
I've even earned the right to be wrong.
I like being old. It has set me free. I like the
person I have become. I am not going to live
forever, but while I am still here, I will not
waste time lamenting what could have been,
or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat
dessert every single day(if I feel like it).
AS I HAVE AGED
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